Four months!

My little girl is growing up! We look at her and to us she seems like she is getting so big but she really is still very petite! She was 11lb 14.5 oz at the Dr. yesterday so that puts her in the 15th percentile which is where she was at 2 months. Her Dr. is ok with it because it is consistent still. She is still our happy baby and rarely gets fussy. When she does it is because she is hungry or tired and those are both easy fixes! I started back to work last month and I am so lucky that she doesn't have to go to daycare. She has both Grandmas who love to babysit! I think she does better without me than I do without her. I try not to call too much when I am gone but there are times when I can't concentrate at work until I call her and say Hi. I don't worry that she is not doing ok...I just miss her!

Four months is going to be such a fun age! She is learning new things every day. Daddy taught her to blow raspberries the other day. So cute, however, when she is breastfeeding the raspberries are not so fun! She makes a huge mess! She babbles and squeals and coos at us and tells us all kinds of stories. She has rolled over from belly to back a few times. We usually have to prop her up on her elbows a little before she will do it but she is getting closer to doing it completely on her own. We probably need to do more tummy time to help...mommy has been slacking on that. I can't wait to see what the next few months bring!!

We did a little photo shoot today and I think I decided I am NEVER going to JCPenney again! I had some done there at 3 months and they weren't anything special...of course Haylea looked gorgeous as always but I was not impressed with the photography. I did much better with my little point and shoot camera than they did!

Way overdue for an update...

Haylea is now 3 1/2 months old and I can't believe how time flies. She is constantly amazing us with her development. She has great head control and can sit in her bumbo for quite a while. She loves sitting up and looking around. She has rolled over from belly to back a few times but usually needs a little help. We also introduced her to her exersaucer about two weeks ago and she loves it too! She immediately learned how to push the buttons to make the lights and music play. It is amazing to me that a 3 month old can learn something like that. I think she is gifted! Don't all moms think that though?! She is still sleeping pretty well with the occasional night where she thinks it is playtime and won't go to sleep. Sometimes after a 2am feeding she lays in her bassinet and "talks" to herself for a while. She is still napping in her swing and the last stretch of night in the early morning but sleeps at night in her bed. We are slowly working on that last stretch in the early morning keeping her in her bassinet. Sometimes it works and sometimes it is a joke! As soon as her crib is finished (should be soon!) and after she gets used to sleeping in it at night we will work on getting her out of the swing for naps. I don't want to change too much all at the same time. I am ready for her to be in her own room but at the same time I think I will be sad. She has never been more than 5 feet from me at night...and it makes those 2am feedings a lot easier! But she is outgrowing her bassinet already. She likes to sleep with her arms out and they are always pushed up against the sides of her bed. I know she will be more comfy in her bed where nothing gets in her way. She looks so big in her bassinet but I know she will look so tiny in her crib! I know in no time she will be rolling all around in her bed and I will find her in the most awkward positions...more reason to get her used to her crib soon. Of course I will post pics of the finished product as soon as I can! There are just a few finishing touches left and then it will be ready for her!

It is hard to believe that a year ago Haylea was just a ball of cells growing inside me and now she is a happy, thriving baby. I am still amazed that my body finally cooperated with me and produced such a beautiful baby. We have had an amazing year and have been blessed so much. I can't wait to see what the next year holds and watch Haylea grow and reach new milestones. Although, I would love for her to stay exactly how she is right now I know she has so much to learn and do and I will be so proud to watch her accomplish it all!

She has her 4 month appointment in a few weeks so I will update again then with weight and all the technical stuff!

Shots...

Today Haylea had her 2 month appointment! She is getting so big...at least compared to when she was born. She is in the 15th percentile for weight at 9 lb 5.5 oz so she is still our little peanut. She is gaining consistently though so it isn't anything to worry about. It was a pretty easy appointment. There wasn't one concern I had to talk to the Dr about because she is doing so well. However, Haylea wouldn't have said it was so easy! First off she woke up a little early this morning so she wanted to nap right before we left and fell asleep in the car on the way there. She got so mad when I had to get her up and undress her and she screamed during most of the appointment. The nurse did her measurements and then Dr Maves did her assessment. She calmed down for a couple minutes and smiled at us but then remembered she was mad. While we waited for the nurse to bring in her shots I put her onesie back on her and fed her a little to calm her down and that helped. The screaming stopped for about a minute until the first needle went into her leg. She screamed and I had a couple tears come out of nowhere. My poor baby! She got three shots and the nurse did great and did them pretty quickly. After that I didn't even put her pants on her. I just put her in her car seat and wrapped her in a blanket and off we went. She grabbed on to her pacifier for dear life and it calmed her down. This from a girl who very rarely takes a pacifier. We got home and I fed her then put her down for a nap. She slept 3 hours which isn't uncommon for her first nap although it was late. She ate again and I figured it would be playtime...nope she was OUT! She slept another 2 hours and woke up to play with daddy for almost an hour and then it was time for bath and bed. She went down no problem. The girl slept all day and I don't have any doubt that she will sleep well tonight too.

Speaking of sleep, she has been doing so much better! She is out of her swing and back in her bassinet now. We put a few small blankets under her mattress to prop her up since she hates laying flat. She will sleep for about 5 hours on average but occasionally we get 6 and sometimes only 4. She eats around 2am and goes back to sleep until about 6am to eat again and then we are usually up between 830 and 9am. Then our day begins! We are roughly on a schedule...not set by me but she usually has the same routine every day give or take an hour or so either way. I just watch her cues on when she is tired or hungry and we go from there.

We are so amazed by her everyday. She is getting so close to laughing out loud and we can't wait to see what new milestones she will reach.

Look at my pretty bandaids!

Our Angels...and our Miracle...

Today is October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance day. A day to remember our Angels, Jordan, Skylar and Gabriel. It is also a time to celebrate our Miracle, Haylea. She is 8 weeks old and thriving. We couldn't feel more blessed to have her in our lives. I don't know how I lived without her. She truly is my reason for waking up every morning. One of my favorite times with her is her 2am feeding because it is our alone time. It is quiet and peaceful and although she is partially asleep and probably isn't even aware of it, it is a special bonding time. It was during that feeding a few nights ago that I started thinking about all our babies. Even though we have Haylea, I still miss my Angels. I wish I could have all of them. Seeing how precious Haylea is just makes me miss them more. How could you not want more of her!? I know some people may think I have my baby now so why do I still miss my Angels. I have said it before and I will say it again. She is our Miracle and truly a blessing but in no way will she replace any one of our Angels. They are all different in my heart and I love them all the same...but differently.

Probably one of the worst things (there are many :) you can say to a mother who has lost a child is that it happened for a reason. Well, sure, it may have happened for a reason but that doesn't make the pain any less. I never cared what that reason was because it didn't matter to me...knowing there was a reason didn't bring them back to me and that is all I cared about. Now I look down at the precious face that is currently sleeping in my lap and I know. It doesn't make the pain of my losses easier, but now I know. I know that without them I wouldn't have Haylea. Yes, I would have another precious child but it wouldn't be her. She is the one that was meant to be for whatever reason. She has 3 guardian Angels who will forever watch over her and us.

As far as updates: Haylea is doing great. She has her 2 month appointment on Monday and I will update more then. She gets shots that day so we both are not excited about that! She is such an easy baby really and I keep thinking that we are so screwed! No one has two easy babies in a row so next time I will have a cranky baby and a toddler at the same time...Oy... There have been talks about when we will begin trying for #2. I already miss being preggo...I know I am crazy! We don't want to wait too long for the fear of it taking another 2 years and just because I don't want to! LOL We will wait at least a year though so that I can breastfeed because I can't take my meds while I am breastfeeding. A year is good though...that will give me lots of alone time with Haylea. However, if for some reason breastfeeding doesn't continue for a whole year we may re-evaluate how long we will wait. I just hope my supply cooperates when I go back to work...not looking forward to that by the way!

Six weeks...

Peanut is 6 weeks old and has gained 2 pounds since birth! YAY! She is getting such cute chunky cheeks and growing so well. She can hold her head up for quite a while now and loves to look around and gets the biggest bright eyes when she is studying something! We get tons of smiles every day and a couple days ago even got a couple small giggles! Who would have thought a 6 week old would laugh. We haven't been able to duplicate it just yet but we get the biggest grins so it is just a matter of time before she starts letting sound come out with them! We are amazed every day that we made her. I still have to remind myself that she is what was growing inside me. She is perfect and I love seeing her grow and start to learn new things. Just when I get really tired and start to feel overwhelmed I look down at that sweet face and all the exhaustion in the world is worth it. Sometimes in the middle of the night she will finish eating and look up at me and smile. It melts my heart every time...and of course they say not to play too much and keep them awake at night but how can you not when you see that big smile! I just have to laugh and give her a kiss and put her back down to bed. She is doing pretty well at night. We have resorted to putting her in her swing...it is the only place she will sleep right now. We discussed it with our pediatrician and she said for now it is ok to just do what works...and it is working for us. We will slowly start to ease her back into her bed somewhere around 2-3 months. We do turn the swing off once she falls asleep and she sleeps about 3 hour stretches through the night and wakes up to eat but then goes back down easily. We usually start our day around 8am and she gets a bath and goes to bed around 8pm. We aren't on a set schedule just yet...but that will come. It is still early. I am expecting her to start to form more of a routine after 12 weeks. Right now she sleeps when she wants and eats when she wants...for the most part. I try not to let her go more than 3 hours during the day and 4 hours at night without eating. For one, I think she needs to eat that often and two...my boobs would explode if she doesn't eat that often!
I did a little photo shoot the other day and here are her 6 week pics!

One month...

Our little peanut is one month old! Yes, her nickname has become peanut...she is so tiny! She is changing everyday and beginning to look more like an infant and not a newborn anymore. Sad and exciting at the same time. Sad because I know it will go too quickly and exciting because I can't wait to see her reach each milestone as she grows. I am a few days late on this...as you can imagine it isn't easy getting two hands free to type on the computer! Right now she is napping with daddy while watching football.

We are having so much fun with her. She is really a great baby. She doesn't fuss much and is sleeping pretty well now that we have started bedtime baths! She loves looking around at her toys and surroundings and even beginning to give us small smiles and lots of happy faces! She has the sweetest expressions when she is happy or "milk drunk" and the most pitiful faces when she is upset! She is about 8 lb now. Not an official weight until next week at her 6 week appt. but I weighed myself alone and then with her and the difference was about 8 lb. You can really tell she is getting bigger anyway. Her cheeks are filling out and she is about to grow out of her newborn diapers! Almost time to upgrade. Will update next week after her dr. appt!

First week at home...

This last week has flown by! I can't believe it already. When I was pregnant I wanted the time to go by faster but now that she is here I want it to slow down! I want to remember every little moment. Right now Haylea is so sweet and calm. She only cries when she is hungry and that is only if I make her wait too long. She wakes up and squirms and grunts and tells me she is ready to eat and will wait for me to get ready. Breastfeeding is going really well now. In the beginning I was frustrated because it wasn't until day 4 that my milk came in. I know that doesn't seem like a long time but when you have a hungry baby and have nothing to offer it can be a little overwhelming. We did supplement with formula for a few days and she did well with it. I was afraid she wouldn't want breast milk after that but she took to it just fine when it came in.

Today we went for a weight check and she is coming back up to birth weight! She was 6lb 10 oz at birth and was 6lb 4oz when we left the hospital. She probably continued to drop since it was another day and a half before my milk came in and on Monday at our one week check up she was 6lb 2.5oz. Her pediatrician wanted us to come back today for a weight check just to make sure she was going up. Today she was 6lb 6oz! Almost back to birth weight! They want her to be back up by 2 weeks so we are well on our way.

Her cord fell off on Tuesday morning and I was so happy! I was afraid it was irritating her skin...it was so hard and the edges seemed sharp and I knew it couldn't be comfortable. The main part fell off but there is still a little inside that is drying up and hopefully comes all the way out soon so she can have her first tub bath!!

We are doing great and I have never felt so good. I am tired but it isn't really that bad. I do get plenty of sleep at night. Haylea sleeps very well. I think we have only had one night since coming home that she fussed a lot and I figured out that she just wanted to be rocked back to sleep after she eats. So since then I rock her for about 5 min after she eats and she is sound asleep. She will sleep at least 2 hours before she wakes up to eat and sometime I have to wake her up after 3 hours. I don't know how long I will do that. I always said I would never wake up my baby during the night to eat but for some reason I am afraid to let her go too long without eating...and also my boobs would explode if I did! So for now she is eating 2-3 times throughout the night but goes back to sleep easily and we all get to sleep...broken sleep but still sleep. That is enough for me. I try to get a nap each day but sometimes it is 8pm before I realize it.

Last night Brian gave me a great back massage and I took a hot bath and that relaxed me. I am totally amazed with my little girl. I knew when she was born that I would have this overwhelming emotion for her but I didn't realize how intense it would be. I still can't believe that we made her. She came from me and she is perfect. For once my body didn't fail me and produced the most precious little girl I have ever seen.

Here are a few of my favorite pics from our first week.

Introducing Haylea Irene Finch...

So it is the end of day 6 and I am just now getting around to posting our birth story! I have had it saved for the last 3 days trying to get the pictures organized and I never get a chance to finish! The days just fly by and there seems to be no time to do these little things. We are exhausted but so happy and amazed with our daughter. She is perfect in every way and we are loving getting to know her.

Monday evening 8/17 we went to the hospital for our induction. We got to the hospital at 6pm and got all hooked up to the monitor and got an IV started and labs drawn. Then I got the pill that would help to soften my cervix. The plan was to start pitocin in the morning around 7:30 am to start the labor process but during the night I started dilating and was having regular contractions. I couldn't feel most of them but they were showing up on the monitor. I went in dilated to 2 cm and had been that way for 3 weeks. The nurse checked me at 1130 pm and I had dilated to 3-4 cm. I had been a three before and sort of closed back up after my false labor at 36 weeks. I started getting more contractions and she checked me again at 3:30 am. I was 4-5 cm according to the nurse at that time and more effaced. She called my OB and they decided since I was progressing early to go ahead and start the pitocin to get things moving along faster. That was started then and she increased it every 30 minutes. I sort of stalled then with dilation but was getting stronger and stronger contractions. I called my family around 7:30 am to make sure they were on their way since I had progressed alreayd. My OB came in about 8 am and broke my water. I was still a good 4 cm according to her. As soon as my water was broken my contractions began to be more and more painful. I was checked again in an hour and still only4 and beginning to think it was going to be a long day. I had only gotten about 2 hours of sleep during the night so I started thinking about getting the epidural so I could rest before it was time and I was in so much pain during the contractions that I knew I wouldn't rest. I got the epidural at 9:15 am and was so happy! I couldn't even feel the contractions. Each time I was checked I was still 4 cm but effacing a little more each time. I was checked at about 11:30 am because I told the nurse I could feel some rectal pressure with each contraction. By then I could feel the pressure of the contractions but they weren't painful because of the epidural. Of course I was 4cm and so she had me turn on my side to try and see if a different position would put more pressure on my cervix. All of a sudden I could feel the contractions getting stronger and stronger and a lot more painful. The epidural was wearing off and the rectal pressure was getting more and more intense. I was starting to feel like I wanted to push but just 30 minutes ago I was just 4 cm so I thought there was no way I was that close. The nurse came in during a contraction and saw my pain and said she would check again. I thought she was crazy because she had JUST checked me. But her face said it all...I went from 4 cm to 9 in 30 minutes! She said I barely had a lip of cervix left. So she called my OB at about 12:30 (who was at the office 15 minutes away) and had her come asap. Before she checked me I had asked for her to call anesthesia to get another bolus of my epidural thinking it would still be a while but when I knew I was at 9cm I decided not to get it so that I could feel to push. I am really glad I did. So for about a half an hour I had to NOT PUSH during contractions until my OB got there. That was the hardest part. My body really wanted to push and the contractions weren't so bad but the urge to push was incredibly painful. Finally, she showed up at 1:00 pm and it was time. I think I pushed throuh 5 or 6 contractions. They were frustrating to me though because the contractions were kind of far apart...at least it seemed like an eternity, I am not sure exactly how far apart they were. I felt like each time waiting between them was just undoing all the progress I had done in the previous push. Finally my sister convinced me to use the mirror...I didn't want to at first but it helped so much! Seeing her start to crown really motivated me to use my pushes effectively. It was amazing watching every moment and when she was born she just melted my heart immediately. I scanned her for fingers and toes and hair...and of course made sure she was a girl! She had a few little cries but didn't really scream. She pinked up immediately though and was just so calm laying on my chest. Brian got to cut the cord and I just held her on my chest. I had a 2nd degree tear and my OB was stitching me up and honestly I didn't feel it one bit because I was so concentrated on my perfect little baby. I kept her on my chest for a while but the blanket was wet and I was afraid she was getting cold so I let them take her to the warmer and dry her off better and wrap her up. Brian got to hold her then too and I fell in love with him all over again seeing him so happy and in love with our daughter.

There are tons of pics...I had a very hard time narrowing it down to just these!