I got nothing...

There isn't much to say. I am not pregnant. Again. We are taking a break for a while. I have an appointment with my RE on Oct 13 to discuss what is going on and what our options might be. I am going to take the time off to work on losing some weight. The only difference between 2007 when I got pregnant 3 times and 2008 when I can't get pregnant is about 20 pounds. After being pregnant and depressed 3 times back to back and then the 9 weeks I was confined to my couch after my foot surgeries I did gain weight. I need to try to get back to where I was when I was able to get pregnant. That is the only difference I can think of that is preventing us from getting pregnant now. I have to take a month off at least before starting a new cycle but I will see how I feel at the end of it and decide then if I want or need to wait even longer.

Not much else to say...I just wonder if it is ever going to happen for us.

Now we wait...

I went on Monday for my follicle scan and had three mature follicles again! I was nervous again that I wouldn't have any but my ovaries cooperated well! I was able to do the trigger shot to make me ovulate then and now we wait. This is the worst part about trying to have a baby. Waiting. It seems like that is all we do. Wait to start a cycle. Wait to ovulate. Wait to find out if we got pregnant. Nope...ok lets wait a whole month and start all over. I know it doesn't end with just getting pregnant either. Once I find out I am pregnant it is still a waiting game. Wait to see if my numbers double. Wait to see if I actually start getting nauseous. Wait to see if the nauseousness goes away. Wait for the all telling ultrasound at 8 weeks. Then once I see that beautiful heartbeat finally...I will have the longest wait of my life to finally hold my baby. I think then and only then is when I will finally be able to breathe a sigh of relief that all the waiting was worth it.

I think I am going to invent a pregnancy test that detects pregnancy right after conception. Forget this waiting two weeks crap. I could make millions! Really though...I find it so strange that for two weeks I could have a baby growing and not be able to tell. I hate that. I hate going through it being as cautious as I would if I were pregnant because who knows there might be a baby in there...and then it makes me feel so stupid at the end of the month when I am not pregnant and I could have enjoyed that margarita the night before! Yeah, we need to do something about this two week wait.

I guess until a new test is invented I just need to keep myself busy. Brian and I are going to Brown County this weekend and we rented a cute little cabin to stay in. It is a much needed relaxing weekend and it also happens to be Brian's birthday next week so we decided to get away and spend a quiet weekend together in the wilderness!

I also had another acupuncture appointment today. I think it is really helping me to relax. I have also came to the realization that my life is not in my control. That was a very hard concept for me to grasp. I don't like not being in control and not being able to do things my own way. My sister made me realize that is how I have always been. I have always wanted to do everything myself and my own way. This is just one obstacle I never thought I would have to deal with. All I can do is try and pray...and of course WAIT to see what happens next.