Follicle Scan...

So my RE was shooting for 2-3 mature follies in the hopes of fertilizing one (or two!) Want to know how many I have????????

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

THREE!!!!!!!! WOOOHOOO! I am sooo relieved! I thought I had either none again or way too many! I was so achy yesterday that I thought something was really wrong like there were 80 follicles or I had a huge cyst or something! NOPE! Just three nice and mature follies! I was so excited that my lefty decided to do something this cycle too. Two of the three cycles on just Femara it did nothing. I had two on my left...one was 18mm and the other was 17.5. Technically they say they want it to be 18 but she said 17.5 is close enough to call it! My right had one nice big one that was 21mm. I had my estriadol drawn and it was normal so I got to do the trigger shot last night. I didn't know what the estriadol was for and the nurse said it can tell you how many mature follies you have and they do it just to make sure what we see on ultrasound is the same as what the blood says...and it was. Anyway I am much more relieved now and in a few weeks we will know if it worked!

Part of me is so excited at the thought of being pregnant again but the other part of me remembers that getting there is only a fraction of the battle. I have to STAY pregnant! So I am thinking about all this and it hits me. What am I doing? Am I really ready to be pregnant again??? I want this more than anything but am I prepared for another possible miscarriage?? This whole time we have been trying since our last loss all I wanted was just to be pregnant again. Now there is no turning back. I have no idea what I will do when that stick turns pink again. Will it be excitement or immediate fear??? I am just scared now...BUT I know that I want that end result more than anything and all I can do now is take one day at a time and just wait to see what happens next!