Movement...

I think my baby knows when I need some reassurance. About an hour after I made my last post baby made his presence known! We were watching TV and I got two strong but quick quivers in my belly. It was over before I knew what it was but I am sure that is what it was. Then later when I went to bed I felt him again. I was laying on my side but sort of leaning towards my belly and I felt little tiny taps...like when you get a twitch on your eye...but obviously in my belly. I had to wake Brian up to tell him about it! Then I rolled over and tried to go to sleep but then baby decided to roll around. It was the first time I have felt movement and actually realized what it was while it was happening. It lasted what seemed like forever! Then we started playing a game. I tried to feel with my hand and he would stop. I would take my hand off and he would start again! It made me giggle. I wish I could have had a camera to see what he was doing in there!

That wasn't the first time baby gave me some reassurance. I think he knows when I need to feel him. About a week ago I had a really bad dream (weird dreams have become a normal thing for me!) where I was at work and went back on a delivery of a stillborn baby...it wasn't my baby but still I get sad when we lose a baby at work. Doesn't happen often but that is one downside to my job. Anyway, it was a horrible dream and I was in tears when I woke up...I rolled over and tried not to think about it and all of a sudden I felt a twitchy thump and knew baby was telling me he was ok.

I can't wait to find out who is in there so I can stop saying He. I can't wait to call this baby by name...which we have picked out. (I should say we are 99% sure...I will probably re-evaluate when we find out just to make sure that is still what I want.) A girl will be Haylea Irene and a boy will be Logan Andrew. I have had Haylea picked out since probably 7th grade! Logan was a new one that we decided on the first time I was pregnant. I can't wait to finally get to use them!

Nesting...

I am not sure if it is nesting exactly or the spring cleaning bug...or just the fact that when I hit 17 weeks I all of a sudden got energy! I have been cleaning the house and making lists of things we need to do to help organize things all week. I have also been out shopping...not really buying things but deciding on things if that makes sense. Well...actually I did make one big purchase but that was sort of an accident! I went to Babies R Us because I was having a hard time deciding on a car seat/stroller combo and I wanted to play around with them some. I ended up deciding on one and made a mental note of which one it was. I browsed around the store and ended up buying some maternity clothes...when I went to check out I got a 10% off coupon that I had to use that day but it didn't cover the maternity clothes that I was getting. So of course I coudln't waste a coupon so I ended up buying the car seat and stroller! I love it! It is at the top of the Consumer Reports and is really easy to fold up and not too heavy.

Here are pics of what I got! It is from Chicco.

In other news...Brian has decided to build our nursery furniture. I was having a hard time finding a crib that I liked that also had a matching dresser that I liked so one weekend while I was working Brian built a dresser and had it in the nursery to surprise me when I got home. It is beautiful! Not completely finished yet but I will for sure share pictures when all the pieces are done!

So here we are not even two weeks out from my last OB appointment and I am starting to get anxious again. Partly because it is such a big appointment coming up and partly because I keep wondering if baby is still growing in there. I have no reason to believe otherwise...but I have learned that pregnancy after loss is almost never anxiety-free. Not that any pregnancy is completely anxiety free either. I am still feeling what I think is the baby. Not as often as I would like but I know it will get more frequent over time. I am also not really showing still. My pudgy belly is slightly firmer but not really bigger...if that makes sense. I know it will come soon enough and I will be so uncomfortable by the end...but at least I will know my baby is still growing! So for now...I am taking deep breaths and taking one day at a time until April 8th!

16 Weeks...

We had our 16 week appointment today. It went very well...very quick! Left urine sample and got blood drawn for one hour glucose test...will know results on Thursday. Weight is still down about 4 lb because of morning sickness and no appetite but they aren't worried about it. Blood pressure was GREAT!!! 110/72...that is awesome for me! We heard baby's heartbeat on doppler...sounded nice and loud but didn't get a count. That was pretty much it! So it was a quick appointment but a good one! Our next appointment is scheduled for 4/8 at 2p!!! I can't wait...that is also when we find out the gender!

As far as me, I am feeling ok for the most part. I still have random days where I feel awful and get sick but other days I am fine. Still really tired most of the time but I am feeling much more reassured about this pregnancy. I am finally ready to feel like this is going to happen! Today was the first appointment I went to that I wasn't worried about not hearing a heartbeat. I am much more calm. I have also been feeling things. I am not 100% sure that what I am feeling is really the baby but it is very possible. It feels like a little muscle twitch in my belly. Hopefully it gets stronger and more frequent soon...I love feeling it!

14 Weeks...

I know it has been way too long since I have updated. To be honest there isn't much to say! This is a really hard part of pregnancy for me. I am starting to feel better, although I still have bad days now and then. I am still exhausted but as far as the constant nausea, I am feeling better...except for the occasional bout of vomiting and the fact that I still have zero appetite. The problem now is that I am getting extremely anxious! It is hard to imagine that my baby is still growing. I know it sounds silly but if you remember correctly my body has a history of not telling me when my babies stop growing. Now that I am feeling better and still not showing or feeling kicks I can't help but wonder...I know it is too early for those but it still makes me wonder. I know it will come soon enough and by the end I will be getting tired of being kicked in the ribs but for now I really need that reassurance that everything is still going ok. I have an OB appt in two weeks so I am just trying to relax as much as possible. I know stressing isn't good for the baby or for my blood pressure. I am ready to get to the fun stuff!

Hiccups...

Today we had our 12 week appointment with our OB. I was a week early (I am 11w 2d) but that's ok. We first met with the nurse and she went over how the rest of the pregnancy will go as far as when appointments are and certain tests, she drew some blood and answered some of our questions. There are three OBs in this practice and throughout my pregnancy I will meet with each of them at different appointments to get to know them in case my regular OB doesn't end up delivering me. I really hope she does though...I love her! She held my hand through three losses and even cried with us when we found out. I am sure the others are just as good but I really hope she is there when we deliver. So after the nurse meeting we met with my OB and she did the routine girly stuff and then listened for the baby's heartbeat with the doppler. She listened for what seemed like forever and couldn't hear it. Sometimes that happens this early and even though I knew that it still freaked me out a little. We did hear him (I say him just because it is easier and I don't like saying IT!) kick though! She had the doppler completely still and all of a sudden we would hear a big SWOOSH! So we knew he was in there but was just hiding from us! We went across the hall and did an ultrasound since we couldn't hear the heartbeat on the doppler (I wasn't complaining...I got to see my baby again!). I really couldn't believe how much bigger the baby is now! He was wiggling all around moving his arms around and opening and closing his mouth. We got to hear the heartbeat and noticed he kept jerking every few seconds...he had the hiccups! It was so cute! The ultrasound tech noticed my big cyst was still there and that was probably why we couldn't hear the heartbeat on the doppler because the cyst was in the way. No biggie...I got to see my baby again so I am glad it was still there!

Not much else to report...still feeling nauseous and exhausted. Some days I feel better than others and then it seems like the day after that is ten times worse! I know it should only be a few more weeks of this though. This is the hard part. I don't feel pregnant...I just feel like I have a horrible long lasting flu! I am not showing or feeling kicks this early so it is just weird. I am ready for the fun stuff! I do feel much better after seeing the baby today. Knowing he is growing well just reminds me that all this sickness is worth it and there really is someone growing in there!

Here is the baby...head is on the right and his hands are up in front of his face.