Tomorrow...

Tomorrow is the day I have dreamed of for so long. I can't believe it is here. I actually get to meet my little girl tomorrow. After all this time and all the pain we have had to go through I really can't believe it is going to happen. I am beyond nervous and scared and excited...and practically any emotion you can think of. I could hardly sleep last night and I don't know how I will sleep tonight in the hospital. I don't know what to expect and usually the unknown would scare me but in this situation I am just excited to see how everything will unfold. I never remember a time in my life where I didn't KNOW I wanted to be a mom and since the moment I realized Brian was the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life I have wanted to make him a daddy. Going through our losses together and watching the world go on without us only made that desire for a baby stronger. It is finally our turn...and our lives will never be the same after tomorrow. Our little girl is worth all the wait and the pain we have been through. Yesterday evening I did my last heparin shot. I added up how many times I had to stick a needle in myself during this pregnancy and the grand total came to 284! That is not counting the 5 unsuccessful cycles before this one where I was on heparin "just in case." My belly is covered in bruises and let me tell you, heparin STINGS going in! But if I had to do it all over again I would do it in a heartbeat. What is a little prick and sting (x 284) compared to a precious little miracle?! She is totally worth every stick and everything I went through to get here. She is worth every ache and pain that comes with pregnancy. I really thought it was going to be harder than it was. I only gained a total of 14 pounds! I don't know how I kept it so low because it wasn't like I tried to cut back on the chocolate! Of course these last few weeks have been uncomfortable and painful especially at work and at night but not near as bad as it could have been. My whole family is amazed that I wasn't a complete hormonal crazy woman because...well...usually I am! But I felt so good and was so happy during this pregnancy that the crazy woman rarely came out. If you ask Brian he will say she came out more but really I think I did a good job keeping her in check! Hopefully exhaustion doesn't bring her back in the next few weeks.

So we are ready...I think! We have prepared for this day as much as we can and we will only know if we are truly ready when she comes. My next post will be our birth story! I can't wait to share it with everyone who has been so supportive of us and I thank you all for the prayers and support throughout this difficult journey. We couldn't have stayed as strong as we had to be if it weren't for the love and support of our friends and family. Now comes the fun part! We get to enjoy our little miracle.